So well written as usual. We are all so boundaried up (love boundaries don't get me wrong) but we struggle to find the sweet spot of personal and communal care. What do we do? I'm so interested in community building right now but don't know how. Just acknowledging it's clunky and awkward but worth it. Esp those of us babies from unhealthy faith communities who don't what it to be like that but still need the casseroles.
"... but we struggle to find the sweet spot of personal and communal care. What do we do?"
This question is going to be at the heart of this project, because we can't return to coercive forms of community, but nor can we entirely insulate ourselves from risk when it comes to forming communities of care!
Look forward to hearing your wisdom in this space too. 💙
Sorry but I had to stop reading — for self care reasons — when I got to the picture of the suboptimally stacked dishwasher. Please, for the love of dogs Shane, we need trigger warnings on such triggering images.
(But actually this is a very good read and I’m going to eat away my third order feelings with icecream)
I should have known how deeply upsetting this would be for so many. I am however committed to telling difficult truths, and bringing such monstrosities to light!
gosh this is so sadly true, and it takes so much to fight it, even with the best of intentions:
"Here, when it comes to our most desperate moments, we struggle to believe anyone owes us the kind of care that would allow us to inconvenience others.4 Reciprocal mutual care is now an anomaly rather than a default, and building bridges to other islands to reach out for care is harder than ever."
Even when we don’t “rationally” believe this, the fact that it has become the default setting of our culture makes it a conscious decision point every time!
So well written as usual. We are all so boundaried up (love boundaries don't get me wrong) but we struggle to find the sweet spot of personal and communal care. What do we do? I'm so interested in community building right now but don't know how. Just acknowledging it's clunky and awkward but worth it. Esp those of us babies from unhealthy faith communities who don't what it to be like that but still need the casseroles.
"... but we struggle to find the sweet spot of personal and communal care. What do we do?"
This question is going to be at the heart of this project, because we can't return to coercive forms of community, but nor can we entirely insulate ourselves from risk when it comes to forming communities of care!
Look forward to hearing your wisdom in this space too. 💙
It’s a topic I can’t shake at the moment it’s coming up everywhere!
Wanna hear more when we chat next.
Sorry but I had to stop reading — for self care reasons — when I got to the picture of the suboptimally stacked dishwasher. Please, for the love of dogs Shane, we need trigger warnings on such triggering images.
(But actually this is a very good read and I’m going to eat away my third order feelings with icecream)
I should have known how deeply upsetting this would be for so many. I am however committed to telling difficult truths, and bringing such monstrosities to light!
May Luther’s Scoops cover all!
You canNOT imagine (well, maybe you can) how reading this was perfect timing for me. Thank you.
I’m so glad it’s helpful Ann!
gosh this is so sadly true, and it takes so much to fight it, even with the best of intentions:
"Here, when it comes to our most desperate moments, we struggle to believe anyone owes us the kind of care that would allow us to inconvenience others.4 Reciprocal mutual care is now an anomaly rather than a default, and building bridges to other islands to reach out for care is harder than ever."
Even when we don’t “rationally” believe this, the fact that it has become the default setting of our culture makes it a conscious decision point every time!