I'm just an internet stranger, but I appreciate every word you've written here. And I'm glad you got through that night.
As someone currently in the "Magic Window", and with exactly zero true, can-call-at-3am-if-shit-hits-the-fan reciprocal friendships (apart from my husband and my Mum), I worry about the future. I'm sure there are many people like me, who in order to maintain employment, are left with no time or energy to foster outside relationships and build community. But by being a good little economic unit in the meantime, hopefully I can pay for whatever support I might need down the line. Or maybe I'll be lucky enough to experience a different kind of window after I retire, when for a few years I might be able to take the energy previously used for work and direct it outwards towards others instead, and build community then.
This is going to sound kinda bleak, but I think this gets at something behind the reasoning for David Seymour's euthanasia bill here in NZ (for the record, I despise everything that man stands for, but I do support people having the choice to end their lives when faced with sickness or pain that has no hope of ending or being fixed). But it neatly solves the "problem" of untethered people who reach the end of their economic viability, and would then only become a "drain on the system". Which I think was his true reasoning for bringing that bill into law. This aspect of late-stage capitalism makes me extremely uncomfortable.
So that was a bit of a ramble, but I just wanted to say thanks for your writings. It must be hard to find the time for it with all the homelife goings-on. But it is appreciated :-)
Thanks Rachel, I’m glad we did too. Unfortunately, it’s pretty standard at the moment.
I hear you on the constraints work places on our capacity for community - I’ll be unpacking a lot regarding that in the coming months. Among many other things, I think we have radically underestimated how the energy given to high-performance workplace cultures is draining our resources for relationships ands collective care.
Oof, and don’t start me on how economic systems have shaped our perspective on which bodies hold value 😬
Beautiful. As someone who has found themselves in the “needier than I would have ever deemed acceptable” space of life and limitations, I am continuously grateful for those in my life who step into the gaps and I try to remember I also have beautiful things to offer those who I am in mutual-obligation with.
Adjusting to the unexpected realities of our lives can be quite a process - sounds like you’ve done some work! Remembering we are all gifts in and of ourselves is a difficult discipline in a world that rewards performance.
I'm just an internet stranger, but I appreciate every word you've written here. And I'm glad you got through that night.
As someone currently in the "Magic Window", and with exactly zero true, can-call-at-3am-if-shit-hits-the-fan reciprocal friendships (apart from my husband and my Mum), I worry about the future. I'm sure there are many people like me, who in order to maintain employment, are left with no time or energy to foster outside relationships and build community. But by being a good little economic unit in the meantime, hopefully I can pay for whatever support I might need down the line. Or maybe I'll be lucky enough to experience a different kind of window after I retire, when for a few years I might be able to take the energy previously used for work and direct it outwards towards others instead, and build community then.
This is going to sound kinda bleak, but I think this gets at something behind the reasoning for David Seymour's euthanasia bill here in NZ (for the record, I despise everything that man stands for, but I do support people having the choice to end their lives when faced with sickness or pain that has no hope of ending or being fixed). But it neatly solves the "problem" of untethered people who reach the end of their economic viability, and would then only become a "drain on the system". Which I think was his true reasoning for bringing that bill into law. This aspect of late-stage capitalism makes me extremely uncomfortable.
So that was a bit of a ramble, but I just wanted to say thanks for your writings. It must be hard to find the time for it with all the homelife goings-on. But it is appreciated :-)
Also, in the next wee while I’ll discuss how I’m going manage writing and responses as this develops.
Substack length stuff fits really well into the little pockets of time I have, but my output will definitely fluctuate with my offline demands.
Thanks Rachel, I’m glad we did too. Unfortunately, it’s pretty standard at the moment.
I hear you on the constraints work places on our capacity for community - I’ll be unpacking a lot regarding that in the coming months. Among many other things, I think we have radically underestimated how the energy given to high-performance workplace cultures is draining our resources for relationships ands collective care.
Oof, and don’t start me on how economic systems have shaped our perspective on which bodies hold value 😬
Glad to have you along for the ride!
Beautiful. As someone who has found themselves in the “needier than I would have ever deemed acceptable” space of life and limitations, I am continuously grateful for those in my life who step into the gaps and I try to remember I also have beautiful things to offer those who I am in mutual-obligation with.
Thanks N.K.
Adjusting to the unexpected realities of our lives can be quite a process - sounds like you’ve done some work! Remembering we are all gifts in and of ourselves is a difficult discipline in a world that rewards performance.
Shane I felt the ache of this piece, such good writing.
Thanks Jane. We all feel this stuff in different forms, but there seem to be some deep patterns across the board.
Great ending!
Thanks man!